Why have I been so emo lately?? There's only 1 answer to that, I want to tell her the truth, about how I feel. But there seems to be a problem to this plan. Every time, I try to do so, she'll show that she doesn't want me around no matter what. I seem to be the cause of her sorrow and moody times. There's was once I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around saying 'WHAT?!'. I felt immediately that she wants me to stay away from her, that I am unwanted around her. So, what am I to do?? Knowing that these things wouldn't change for the time being. I should just let it be... Keep a distance maybe, and show no interest?? I have no escape route for this right now. Hopefully something will come up in my mind eventually.
Sometimes, I'll ask her a question and she'll ignore me. I choose to look at it in way that she didn't hear me. But after a while, I gave up on that thought, I had to face the truth someday... I hope that 1 day she'll know that I regretted, know that I'm sorry for all the wrongs that I've done towards her, know that I never meant for any of it to happen, but it did... I know I'll never be as good as others, not good enough for her. I know that ever since that incident, her perspective of me changed forever, that I am a selfish ass wipe who couldn't think properly and differentiate wrong and right. Even though, I offended her indirectly, but I know that I'm not like that just because she thinks of me in that way.
So I guess, the solution, whether it's easy a not, is to give up, let go, forget and move on. Because even though she makes a smile on my face appear when I'm in sadness, helps me when I face problems, there are still times when she is the cause of my sadness and problems, she just never knew it... I always look at the good times we shared but now I remember the countless times that we never were happy, hating each other and so close but yet so far apart...
Sometimes, I'll ask her a question and she'll ignore me. I choose to look at it in way that she didn't hear me. But after a while, I gave up on that thought, I had to face the truth someday... I hope that 1 day she'll know that I regretted, know that I'm sorry for all the wrongs that I've done towards her, know that I never meant for any of it to happen, but it did... I know I'll never be as good as others, not good enough for her. I know that ever since that incident, her perspective of me changed forever, that I am a selfish ass wipe who couldn't think properly and differentiate wrong and right. Even though, I offended her indirectly, but I know that I'm not like that just because she thinks of me in that way.
So I guess, the solution, whether it's easy a not, is to give up, let go, forget and move on. Because even though she makes a smile on my face appear when I'm in sadness, helps me when I face problems, there are still times when she is the cause of my sadness and problems, she just never knew it... I always look at the good times we shared but now I remember the countless times that we never were happy, hating each other and so close but yet so far apart...
Bro if you really love this girl don't give up. In life we have to overcome what we are afraid most of which is for some of us is getting hurt, rejected & turned down. But every rejection we get is a good thing because it makes you a stronger and better person. Get back on your feet & try again. Never give up. Because winners never quit & quitters never win. All the best with you and this girl. I hope she brings you joy happiness. Take care. Cheers.
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