NO WAY ON EARTH!!!!

I really meant what I said from the last post but this time things got freaking f***ed up!!!!!

The morning was great, we went the King's Scout installation and stuff. Speeches were boring as usual but it was quite fun hanging out with the Petalings again. The whole ceremony ended around 1 then we had a buffet lunch which was ok.

After that we went home... This is when the shits start. I opened by bag at the dining table and found my dad's magazine wet... Guess what?? My King's Scout cert was in the bag too... I removed everything, the bottle cap was open and I took out a file containing the cert, it was partially wet and the ink was smugged... FML!!!!! I tried to take out the cert and the freaking corner of the cert had to tear making my life a lot more miserable... Wait, it doesn't end there. The tried drying the cert with the fan. Then my dad came. You know how things are already freaking bad and your parents just have to scold you making it worst. Yup, that happened... He was like 'NEXT TIME TAKE CARE OF YOUR STUFF!!!!!' How does that freaking make things better??!!!! There won't be a next King's Scout for me. There won't be a freaking same cert!!!! HOW ON EARTH DO I TAKE CARE OF IT NEXT TIME????!!!!!!!

I really don't know what the hell I did to deserve all this bad luck. How much of bad luck?? Hold on, it's been about 17 FREAKING YEARS OF BAD LUCK!!!! I can't even try to do something and not screw it up. I can't even try to help but end up making things worst!!!! And I certainly can't even succeed at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with this freaking horrible luck!!!!

I hate it when someone's life is so great but they just say FML when one small thing happens to them. You dare to say fml to that when you haven't even gone through the shit I have... I'm sorry if I offended anyone in anyway but I just don't understand anything anymore...

Things Should Change

This is gonna be the last post which I'll post on fb cause I kinda feel that I'm seeking attention through this blog, eventhough I that's not my intentions. So yea, I'm gonna change a few things now. I'm hoping that these changes would allow me to understand things more.

I've been kinda lost in whats going on nowadays. Is there a way to find out something without asking that certain person?? Cause if I'm wrong, I don't want things to get all awkward and stuff, especially around a group of people. So how do I changed in those terms?? I still have no idea.

What else am I gonna change in?? Hmm...
Most probably the way I think, talk and my actions.

I'm not gonna think about depressing stuff cause whats done is done, just leave it behind and move on.
I'm not gonna swear, eventhough I think I don't do much of that but I'm try to not swear at all.
I'm not gonna do stupid things like what I usually do. Always be nice in any way and every way to anyone and everyone.

Yea... that's it

Nom Nom Nom!!!! =D

Yea, so my whole family is out doing dunno what, so I made brunch for me myself and I =)

I couldn't find any bread and I'm suppose to finish the ham soon, so I kinda used the ham as my bread.

Yea, so I took ham and spread grated parmesan cheese on it, then put it in the oven to melt the cheese. Meanwhile, I cut half a tomato into slices, why not diced?? Lazy la =P

I had 2 different slices of ham so yea...

Then, I used some tuna and bbq sauce, and put it over the ham.

It looks kinda disgustingROLL IT UP!!!

Put it back in the ovenIt doesn't look like the oven did anything but I think it heated up the bbq sauce and tuna =)

Yea, after about 10 minutes the plate became empty... BOY I'M FULL!!!

THE END!!!! =D

=D

It's a public holiday, so I thought why not another post =)

Yea, so there hasn't been much happening in life actually. And yea, I decided to ask someone to be my prom date. How did I ask?? Who did I ask?? Err... I guess I'll keep it unknown =) Oh ya, there's something I want to say, I hope you're reading this, I just wanna say THANK YOU =D After all the stupid things I've done, I actually achieve something this time. When you accepted my request, I was enlightened. Honestly, I was never this happy. People keep saying I used to be the 'FML person', the emo person but now I've changed and always had a smile on my face. I don't know whether that is true though.

And to all those who know about this, please stop teasing her. I mean she's always been nice to everyone, but why can't you give her the same treatment?? It's something I can never understand. Why is it that someone can treat others nicely but not get the same reply??

Changing to another topic, this month so far is like a vacuum cleaner sucking in all the money from my wallet =( Birthday presents nowadays aren't cheap. But as long as it's for the closest people, why not?? =D I really was amazed by how this 1 person put all her heart into making cards, organizing a surprise (but she was horrible in lying =P), and getting every single thing going according to plan. She really showed what a good friend should be like.

I kinda like this cover for this song. But the bass in the second chorus screwed it up, but here it is =D

The Conclusion is Not to Jump Into Conclusion

So, it's been a while since I touched this, so... I don't really have much to say, other than the 2 main topics right now, Basketball & Prom

Yea for Basketball, it was nothing... BUT AWESOME!!!!!! We recently joined the KDU College Invitational Basketball Competition. Boy, was it a pack full of action and fun!!! Winners would get a 100% scholarship, Runner-Ups would get 50%. Just so u'll continue reading this I'll treat it like a story, so it starts like this...

The KDU Cup was on 24 July until 26 July at KDU College DJ Campus, so guess what we decided to do?? Have our 1 and only training 1 day b4 the Cup. Sadly, I mean very sadly, that night we lost 1 of our players... Mr. Devraj Sathivelu is and will always be known for never ever giving up, no matter how many times he literally fell down. So, keep it that way Dev =D

Anyway, our draw for the competition was quite scary. We were put into a group with BU3, SAS and BU4. In the game against BU4, I SCORED MY 1ST POINTS WITH THE TEAM!!!! =D It was all thx to MR. CLARENCE GAN CHONG YEU.

Well, the next 2 games against BU3 and SAS were incredible. I led BU3 at 1st but then lost by only 4 pts. But against SAS, we were down by 12 pts. But in the second 7 minutes half, we only let them score 3 pts, were we scored 23-5=18 FREAKING POINTS in 7 MINUTES!!!! =D

Oh well, then we played Sri KDU, We WON!!! Then Finals was against BU3, so yea... but it was overall one hell of a great competition with great teammates and greater brothers.

So yea... prom. Damn a lot of ppl asked liao weih. I have no idea what to do. The level for 'prom date asking' has shot up like hell!!! I can't believe how sweet, romantic and creative our school ppl can get!!! But congratz on all the efforts. It's been fun watching all the different ways of asking a single question.

Oh yea, last Sat, I went for 'jogging' I guess. Eric, Sze Wei and I walked from DU to Kiara Hill, then we were suppose to jog along with Soon, Huey Ni and Grace. But not even half way through, it started pouring rain. There's only 1 word for this situation, which is SIENNNZZZZZ. Oh well, I guess I had fun =D Can't wait to go again, and hopefully loose this bulged thingy right here.

So, I guess that rather sums it up... Good Night =D

The Escape Route

Why have I been so emo lately?? There's only 1 answer to that, I want to tell her the truth, about how I feel. But there seems to be a problem to this plan. Every time, I try to do so, she'll show that she doesn't want me around no matter what. I seem to be the cause of her sorrow and moody times. There's was once I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around saying 'WHAT?!'. I felt immediately that she wants me to stay away from her, that I am unwanted around her. So, what am I to do?? Knowing that these things wouldn't change for the time being. I should just let it be... Keep a distance maybe, and show no interest?? I have no escape route for this right now. Hopefully something will come up in my mind eventually.

Sometimes, I'll ask her a question and she'll ignore me. I choose to look at it in way that she didn't hear me. But after a while, I gave up on that thought, I had to face the truth someday... I hope that 1 day she'll know that I regretted, know that I'm sorry for all the wrongs that I've done towards her, know that I never meant for any of it to happen, but it did... I know I'll never be as good as others, not good enough for her. I know that ever since that incident, her perspective of me changed forever, that I am a selfish ass wipe who couldn't think properly and differentiate wrong and right. Even though, I offended her indirectly, but I know that I'm not like that just because she thinks of me in that way.

So I guess, the solution, whether it's easy a not, is to give up, let go, forget and move on. Because even though she makes a smile on my face appear when I'm in sadness, helps me when I face problems, there are still times when she is the cause of my sadness and problems, she just never knew it... I always look at the good times we shared but now I remember the countless times that we never were happy, hating each other and so close but yet so far apart...

It Goes On

I won't be writing much for this post cause there really isn't anything to write about. So it starts like this...

Life as we know it doesn't stop one second for us. Life as we know it just goes on and on. Well, guess what else goes on... The feeling that something you felt hasn't vanished, the feeling that you still care. Holidays are here, it's damn shit boring, I fractured my left wrist but I don't give a damn cause I still can do whatever I want =). I'm typing this with both hands. But all that doesn't matter. Have you ever asked yourself whether the thing in your mind, no matter if it's a feeling, a plan or even an action, is that thing your thinking of a 'want' or a 'need'. Well, is it necessary to get a prom date?? Is that a 'want' or a 'need'?? I couldn't think of an answer on why would I get a prom date?? There was no answer for me. It shows absolutely nothing because it's a 1 dinner. Yes, it's probably the last time all of us would gather but does it matter if you have a date??

Other than that, the feeling... Have you ever wanted someone so badly but when the time, the opportunity comes, you don't dare to do anything?? Well, I did and still do... Seeing her almost everyday makes my life both more miserable and enlightened. Why enlightened?? The answer for that is quite obvious. It's because it's you who I'm seeing, it's you who I get to spend time with. But I've been trying to avoid those things from happening... That's why it's miserable for me. Knowing that you'll be there but knowing that I don't stand a chance. Do you know the goosebumps feeling?? Every time I see you, I think of approaching you. But that was only a thought... Right after that thought, I'll tell me self 'no'. All you're gonna do is hurt yourself or worst, her too. That's when I get the goosebumps feeling, that when I just keep it to myself, head down, almost tearing and once again regretting.

So, the thing is, I haven't got over anything. That feeling is still there. The other day I was behind you, thinking of going up next to you and walk you back to class but then the same thing happened. I was only 2 steps away from catching up with you then there was a junction. You took a left turn and even though I had to take the same route back to my class, I went straight instead. What an idiot I am. But the thought that it was for the best told me that the wrong turn was worth it, that it was worth the wait...